How to handle our Past The Past. For some, happy memories. For others, painful memories that haunt them. Sometimes we get stuck in those memories, through triggers, or focusing on the wrongs that were done to us, or through anger and wanting restitution. Research shows that such attitudes and actions only harm one person: ourselves. In a way, we are still suffering, and we are the ones doing the harm. Learn coping techniques that help empower you, and allow you to concentrate more on the present. Some of those techniques can be learned in EMDR, which helps us process traumatic memories so that we are no longer triggered. Some are through self-soothing techniques that teach us self-regulation. Mindfulness meditation, which keeps us focused in the here and now helps. Giving compassion and empathy to our perpetrators heals. Emotional maturity which puts things in perspective, can relieve a great deal of the pain. If you are not familiar with these things, find a therapist who can teach you these techniques. No one should have to carry the past with them. Today has its own challenges.